Daily Reading for July 9
Hospitality is a particular Benedictine virtue, “Let all who come be received as Christ” is perhaps one of the most familiar aphorisms of the Rule. And yet the final paragraph is quite clear: “No one is to speak or associate with guests unless he is bidden; however, if a brother meets or sees a guest he is to greet him humbly as we have said. He asks for a blessing and continues on his way explaining that he is not allowed to speak with a guest” (53.23, 24).
Again, there is a line to be drawn. There is a limit to the amount of giving to another. There can be no doubt at all about the respect for the guest, the welcome given, the love shown. Yet there is also respect for one’s self and for one’s own way of life. The peace and silence of the monastery must be protected.
There is a nice balance here of togetherness and apartness, of intimacy and distance. If the life of the community does not go on, there is nothing to give the passing stranger, nothing for him to share or gain from. Its value for him lies precisely in its inner strength, in its certainty that its own way of life has an integrity that must be maintained. No one can be a good host who is not at home in his own house. Nor can I be a good host until I am rooted in my own centre. Then, and only then, have I something to give to others. . . .
Those who live closely together know that too much sharing, too much togetherness is destructive not only of the individual but of the community. . . . Any community must be poised between these two poles of solitude and togetherness, for they are essential to each other. David Steindl-Rast puts this bluntly: “Togetherness without solitude is not truly togetherness, but side-by-sideness. To live merely side by side is alienation. We need time and space to be alone, to find ourselves in solitude before we can give ourselves to another in true togetherness. One needs strong roots in togetherness to be solitary rather than lonely when one is alone. . . . Solitude is aloneness supported by togetherness.”
From Living With Contradiction: Reflections on the Rule of St. Benedict by Esther de Waal (Harper and Row, 1989).