Archbishop to conduct “Pirate” Eucharist

The Lead can reveal that today – just hours before he jets off for America in what could be a turning point in the future of the Anglican Communion – the Archbishop of Canterbury will meet with a rag-tag group of renegades, scoundrels and peglegs in the bosum of Lambeth Palace. The meeting will conclude with a “Pirate” Eucharist led by the Archbishop. The list of invitees was written in invisible ink.

A spokesman for Dr. Williams said: “It should come as no surprise that t’ Archbishop be meetin’ pastorally with scurvy swabs. Such encounters extend starboard across t’ range o’ civil and uncivil society. Few o’ these encounters ever reach t’ public domain. That be as it should be.”

For the uninitated, it is no coincidence that this news leaked today. In the secular calendar September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day.

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