Into your hands I commend my spirit, *
for you have redeemed me,
O Lord, O God of truth. — Psalm 31:5
In this time of anxiety and loss, my memory is a little spotty. So when I first read these lines from our psalm for today, I thought, “That seems awfully familiar. I wonder where we use it in worship?” It took me awhile to realize the first line is one of the seven last “words” of Jesus from the cross. I heard a meditation on it on Good Friday, just a month and a day ago.
It seems like a year has passed since Holy Week. Each day is full of strong emotion, demands, special circumstances, and the need for new learning and communication. I am helpless in so many ways.
Most Holy One, my Beloved,
I have no idea if I will stay well through the days ahead. I am trying to stay safe, but what good will that do against a microscopic adversary that is mutating? I’ll do my best, for my own sake and the sake of those who would have to take care of me if I fall ill.
Into your hands, O God, I commend my spirit.
I have nothing to offer anyone — no words of comfort for friends who have lost loved ones, no words of healing for depressed friends who are struggling through each long day, no words of patience for young, bored friends who yearn to get back to their lives. I cannot take care of anybody. All I have is whatever you give me in the moment.
Into your hands, O God, I commend my spirit.
Acknowledging we are sailing into a huge economic recession, I have no strategies, no means to aid people who are suffering financially, no way of averting catastrophe for my family or for others’. As I watch the black clouds of the storm approach all I have is my trust that you are always with us, one way or another.
Into your hands, O God, I commend my spirit.
I light a candle and chant a favorite hymn. The sadness and anxiety that has lodged itself in my soul shakes loose and flows out of me with the music. I go for a walk, breathing deeply, acknowledging the springtime that is spreading through the world. In this moment I remember that I am not in charge; I am only your helper. The sticky pull of the world’s suffering eases a little. Living or dying, I give you my heart and my complete trust, O God.
Into your hands I commend my spirit.