by Robert Epley
I pulled the picture out and looked at it again puzzled about why I kept coming back to it. Several of my photographs draw me back to them this way. They are like messages sealed in a bottle bobbing up and down on the water. I get intriguing glimpses of the message folded up and sealed inside. Again and again I wonder what I should find hidden in these images.
Frustration at being unable able to make good traditional prints could be what keeps drawing me back. But that really doesn’t feel like the right explanation. There is something more here than what appears on the surface.
Would working on a digitalized version of the film result in prints that feel right? In the digital darkroom the images take on a life of their own. I became even more curious about what was in the bottle bobbing up and down on the water. They were more than snapshots, but how could I read the “thousand words” each picture represented? What was I saying? My memory of what the original image felt like is shown in the main picture of each image. The inset approximated a wet darkroom print.
The image in The Journey Within originally fascinated me because the picture I saw the water was a more interesting than image the above the water. Now, I have a growing realization: water stands for feelings. This picture was taken around the time of the birth of our second daughter. From today’s perspective I believe it represents the emotional journey I and others embark on when we bring children into our lives.
Architectural images are a long standing interest of mine. I am drawn to the geometrical design in architectural features as they appear on a flat surface. In editing the digital images something else appeared. I began to see how buildings and especially homes were a statement about me. When I began photographing the Clarkson Homestead we had recently moved back to Colorado. As a third generation Colorado native, my interest in roots and family history was reawakened. Without realizing this, a rainy fall afternoon and an historic homestead fit well with what was in the back of my mind – Rain of Remembrance.
A home can hold many different meanings. Although we can’t go back home, our heart is still there. Longing for comfort in difficult times brings to mind the Hills of Home. A flower blossoming from a stone in a dilapidated house expresses Newfound Inner Strength.
I was surprised to find the religious themes that emerged as I reinterpreted some of these images. None of the source images were photographed with the intent of portraying a religious subject. A climbing rose on a broken out window was originally a geometrical design curiosity not a Crown of Thorns. I was drawn to the three trees because of the dynamic relationship among them on a foggy morning. Reinterpreting these images was a long and often frustrating struggle. Finally, letting them become what they insisted on being, It’s Something More and the Trinity Mystery emerged.
Curiosity about myself like the interest most of us have about ourselves is what I believe impels me to return to these images and explore their meaning.
Robert J. Epley is a photographer living and working in Nederland, Colorado. His work has received numerous awards and is included in the collection of the Colorado Springs Fine Arts Center. His work can be seen in ‘Portraits of the Self,’ an exhibition of Episcopal Church and Visual Arts.