The original war on Christmas

Rabbi Rami Shapiro has a wonderful post on his blog that has been reposted at that reminds us that the orignal “War on Christmas” was waged by our Puritan forefothers:

In 1645 Oliver Cromwell and his Puritan brethren took over jolly old England. Deciding that anything jolly was probably of the devil, they vowed to rid England of such decadent conceits as Christmas. Cromwell and Company banned Christmas and any festivities having to do with it.

Not to be bested by their colleagues across the pond, Massachusetts Puritans criminalized Christmas (take that, Bill O’Reilly!), and, in 1659, the General Court of Massachusetts passed the Five-Shilling Anti-Christmas Law:

“Whosoever shall be found observing any such day as Christmas, or the like, either by forbearing labor, feasting, or any other way upon such account as aforesaid, every such person so offending shall pay for each offense five shillings as a fine to the country.”

. . .

Even though the Five-Shilling Anti-Christmas Law was repealed in 1681, our founders must have seen some value in banishing Christmas seeing as Congress was in session on Dec. 25, 1789, the first Christmas under America’s new constitution, and Christmas didn’t become a federal holiday until June 26, 1870.

Anyway, I think a country whose original illegal aliens were Puritans who hated Christmas, and whose descendents believe that a return to Christian values would be a good thing, cannot but benefit from outlawing Christmas once again.

It will take us a while to get the country back on its Christian track, but in the meantime, if you insist upon celebrating Christmas and thus disrespecting this great country, you should fine yourself five shillings (which in today’s fallen dollar is equal to about 89 cents).

Read it here. Hat Tip to

Here is an idea–next time you go shopping for Christmas, or put up lights, or say “Merry Christmas”, fine yourself 89 cents and donate the fine to Episcopal Relief and Development or some similar charity of your choice. I, for one, already owe a large fine!

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