It’s surprising sometimes the places where we can recognize the best and worst of congregational life reflected in the media. Cynthia Weems sees clear paralles between the ways that newcomers are greeted and brought into congregational communities, and what happens as the newcomer becomes increasingly involved, with the story arc of the latest movie of the Toy Story trilogy:
She writes of the events at the beginning of the movie:
“The now-grown Andy’s toys are donated to the local daycare center as he prepares to leave home. Most are scared to death at the thought of going to a new place, making new friends, and leaving their beloved owner behind. Yet, when they arrive they are met with a hearty welcome. Lots-O’-Huggin’ is the gregarious teddy bear who has some experience under his belt. He immediately rushes to meet the newcomers. Ken doll struts out of his house and flashes a wink, inviting the new friends to enjoy his pool, big house and sports car (particularly the lovely Barbie). Various other toys extend a warm welcome. The newcomers are immediately put at ease. This place isn’t as bad as they thought!
I immediately thought about the welcome many visitors receive at church on Sunday mornings, or to our organizations as we diligently work behind office doors or in cubicles. Do we make the newcomer feel like they are the center of the moment? Do we recognize their fears or anxieties and relieve them with warmth and humor?
Many of our churches are very good at this. In fact, most churches are described as ‘very friendly’ by those who visit them. Most churches have a big teddy bear waiting to greet those who visit.
But all isn’t as it seems to be in the movie – or in many congregations:
[…But the toys in the movie] quickly learn that once night comes and the teachers and children go home, the atmosphere at the daycare shifts. Lotso once the loving old teddy bear, becomes drill sergeant for an army of toys who handcuff the others into the organizational bins at night and force them to submit to the elder toys’ every whim and demand. Disneyland quickly becomes haunted house.”
Anyone who has struggled to either join an active, emotionally close congregation can see parallels to that journey in the paragraph above. And anyone who has pleaded with parishioners to see newcomers as welcome co-workers and not just potential pledges can see the parallels too.
Weems goes on to discuss how congregations might respond to the deeper challenges of new-member incorporation and leap over the “hazing” step, especially when it is happening unconsciously.
How about your congregation? Have you had problems along these lines? (Mine has…) How have you overcome them?